Birth

It has taken me a while to decide to share our story. Mostly because it sorta has a negative undertone and I didn't want to convey that I was unhappy. Because, I am truly happy that I have my baby. Also, for the fact that for a long time I would cry when I told it. I don't know if it was because Draven's birth went every way possible, that I prepared for it not to go, or if it is because there is a very big possibility that other deliveries will have to be a C-Section as well. I was truly not prepared for that, in no way in my mind did I think I would end up there. I never thought that was how it was going to turn out. I had studied for months for a natural birth and how to prevent medicated births. I felt prepared to stand my ground with the medical world on my views and dictate how this birth was going to play out. I had the whole thing planned out in my head and couldn't wait for that moment that naked baby comes out and is placed on my chest and the two of us just stare at each other. That moment happen a little different, but I really did feel an amazing feeling the first time I was able to hold him and look at him.

So here is the very raw story of how it all went down. (I am not a writer...this is why my blog is all pictures with small captions underneath, so please excuse all the mistakes I'm sure I'll make :)

Andy and I talked a lot about having a natural birth. I have always been passionate about going the natural route when it comes to heath care. We researched and found a birthing method, The Bradley Method-Husband Coached Childbirth, that matched our ideas and gave us a great understanding of what actually happens during a birth. We both studied this book and practiced what to do when I actually do go into labor. It was very promising and we were really excited and prepared for that day. I had been measuring big my whole pregnancy and my doctor said I was due more around Christmas then New Years.

December being the longest month of my life, came and went! My due date came and I was acting weird all day according to Andy. We had gone out the night before for a New Years Party at some friends house and then went down to visit Andy's Grandma, since it was her birthday. That night I went to bed around 11 and was feeling some contractions as I fell asleep. At 2 o'clock, I woke up to one of my million potty breaks during the night and headed to the bathroom. After I went pee and wiped, a ton of fluid came out. Wow, it was a weird feeling. Andy is a night owl and sadly was still AWAKE! I yelled to him that my water broke. We were both in disbelief. We got the giddy excited feeling and were SO excited that it was finally here. We both started grabbing those last minute things to put in our bags. My contractions started very quickly after my water broke. With the Bradley Method, even if your water breaks you try to labor as MUCH as possible at home. Andy was trying his hardest to get me to lay down and start our relaxation techniques, but with having my water broken, I was running to the bathroom every two minutes it felt like. I was having some strong contractions too. Then Andy wasn't feeling well so he was cooped up in the bathroom and I am beating the door down because I was gushing fluid and I needed him there to rub my back during the contractions! So needless to say, I wasn't doing very well at staying relaxed. Then after a couple hours, I started to throw up during all the madness. At about 6, I decided that I was in some serious pain and it was time to head to the hospital. Andy was being very cautious about leaving already. The book talked about sign posts to watch for like, if I said I was ready to go to the hospital and then smiled to take a picture on the way out, then I need to sit my butt back down. Well for me, I had definitely passed that point. I felt like if we waited any longer I wouldn't be able to walk to the car, so it was time to GO!

We made it to the hospital, but not with out some throwing up on the way :) Andy was so cute and ran out to find a wheelchair. He came running back with one and wheeled me in. As we were driving in, we saw another pregnant gal walking in. She was just toddling right on it like it was nothing. Well, when we got the the checkin desk they were totally just taking care of her and I just wanted to yell "HELLO, do you see the difference here! I am going to lose it if you don't get me checked in before her!" At this point, I could barely keep my eyes open. It was really weird. They had me sign all this paperwork and I could hardly open my eyes long enough to sign. Once we got to the room and all checked, I was at a 6!!! I was super happy that I was that far along. It was actually nice to be at the hospital because my contractions were so bad I was no longer able to walk around and with the gush of fluids that I was having, I could just stay in bed and they would change out the linens every time. It made it more relaxing for me and Andy and I were able to start getting into our groove with our technique. After I was all set up the nurses left us to progress a while. While they were gone I started to get some CRAZY contractions. At the peak of the contraction my body was freaking out, my stomach would physical squeeze and jolt down. It was causing me so much pain, my arm and leg that I wasn't laying on would go up in the air and shake. Andy was trying his hardest to get me to calm down and not freak out during those contractions. Once the nurses came in to check me, they were all over me once they saw me having those crazy contractions. They were telling me that I had to stop pushing during the contractions. Trust me IT KILLED, I wasn't pushing, it was my body. I would have stopped if I could. At one time, I remember having maybe three nurses and a resident just staring at me waiting for me to basically convulse and then tell me to relax. Finally the resident checked me again and said that I was STILL at a 6...WHAAAAAT? I was having such painful contractions I couldn't believe that I hadn't progressed further. He also said that the baby's head was getting swollen. That caused him to check me a little bit better and we realized that the baby's head was turned against my spine. This is why I was in such immense pain and causing my body to try to get him out. Well in turn this caused his head to swell and also my cervix. My cervix couldn't dilate further if it was swelling. Ahhhhhh, what the heck! The resident was telling me that he was going to have to go up there and try to manipulate the baby and try to turn his head around. With the labor pains and the thought of this man's arm up my you know what, I was in tears. I broke down and was telling anyone to go get me an epidural. Andy was so worried that I would be upset after I got it, but all I could think was that I had been sitting there for 5 hours at this point. I couldn't even imagine laboring with this much pain for another hour and who knows how long it would have taken me to progress further with all the swelling.

So epidural it was. I have heard many people talk about how awful the epidural is when it is put in. I was literal shocked and started to laugh after she put it in. It felt like someone was pushing a tip of a pen into my back. I couldn't believe that was it. Boom with in minutes I was feeling like a million bucks! I think my lack of pain with getting the epidural was the fact that my back was probably numb from all the back labor pain. Andy had been such a trouper and rubbed my back for at least nine hours by then. I was having him put so much pressure that I had a bruise where he had been rubbing, but I had to have him rub it or it would hurt worse. It was a lose lose situation. He was so relieved to get a break at that point. His hand hurt so bad after! I remember re-introducing myself to my nurses and telling them that I was really a nice person in real life! I wasn't so nice to them when they were getting mad at me :) At this point Jen (who is married to my sisters husbands brother...you got that?) showed up because, I had dropped our new camera (that I wasn't very nice to the Best Buy people to get, because mine broke and I told them I HAD to have a camera for when my baby came out. Who is going to argue with the large pregnant lady right?) in the toilet at Grandma's house the day before. So we texted them on the way to the hospital to see if they would please bring us their camera, so we would have those precious first pictures! What a sweetheart right? I am so grateful that we had one. Well, They checked me a couple hours after the epidural and I dilated to an 8. They then tried to turn the baby and he wasn't budging. They said hopefully that when I get dilated all the way the baby will have more room and be able to turn himself. So they left me to dilate...hours and hours go by.

At eight thirty, they tell me I just need to start pushing. I was at about a 9 I think. It had been nine hours since they gave the the epidural and I really hadn't done anything since. So, I did what they said and pushed. Two and a half hours later :( nothing. He hadn't moved one single tiny bit down the birthing canal. They just kept telling me that his head kept getting more swollen and more swollen. My doctor was there for about the last hour of pushing. He was very sensitive to my views and new how I envisioned things to go. He made every single person in the whole room leave and he talked to us about a C-section with a very heavy heart. He knew this is not what I wanted. He said I could push for as long as I wanted but really in the end, he wasn't coming out that way. He was turned and was stuck. A lot of tears came from all three of us as we talked though our options. We finally made the call and everything from then was a crazy frenzy! A million people showed up in our room and kept talking to me. I could hardly keep my eyes open and I was trying not to push, which KILLS. I was getting poked and hooked up to everything. We get down to the operation room and I was just so ready to have the baby out. It had been about 22 hours since my water broke. As I was laying there, I got some crazy shakes. My arms just shook and wouldn't stay down on the table. Then my jaw was killing and the nurse said that I was trying to stop the shakes and that was causing my jaw to hurt. Weird right? Anyway, It didn't take to long, and they were telling Andy to stand up and get ready to take some pictures cause he was coming! I can still remember seeing Andy's face as he watched. He was so frightened and concerned to what they were doing to me. From what he described to me later was that one doctor was yanking on the top of the incision skin and pulling it so far back, I remember him asking me "Can you not feel that?" Then, the doctor was yanking on the baby cause he was stuck just as bad this way!

Finally they all said "he's out!" I freaked, I didn't hear any cries. Finally, he started to cry and I couldn't believe it was all over. He was finally here. They took him over to a table that was behind me and I had to bend all weird to just get glimpses of him. He seriously had the biggest cone head. They were kidding when they kept telling me he was stuck and his head just kept getting bigger, Poor guy! The nurse asked what ethnicity we were because the baby had hair all over his body. Like I'm talking shoulders, back, butt, ears...all over. Apparently hairy babies/butts isn't a Caucasian trait. Andy goes "Well I have hair on my butt!" Her response "Your an ADULT!" It was awesome. Finally, after I was all stitched up and taken to the recovery room, they brought my baby to me. As my doctor brought him to me I had the most excited feeling. I am tearing up as I type. It was so wonderful having him tell me he was perfect and healthily. That is all I ever wanted, a healthily baby. I got just what I wished. It was really hard for me to hold him because I still had the shakes and I literally felt like I was going to drop him. We had a few minutes together just the three of us. I had Andy hold him next to me and we just stared at him. The nursery came to get him, for some tests and the nurse told Andy someone was there. We were so confused. He went out to check who was there and while he was gone, she said that his sister had been calling. Even more confused. Andy is an only child. He came back in and said no one was there. The nurse goes "Oh well they have been calling!!!!!" in such a bugged tone. She then said "Emilie from Utah." Oh man, that is MY sister! She said she had been calling a bunch of times and trying to get information from them. Well, they can't tell her anything and I guess were really bothered, teehee. Since we had no idea I was going to be pushing for so long and then had to go into surgery, I hadn't talked to any of my family since around 6 o'clock and I delivered him five mins to midnight. My family was freaking out, to say the least. They were all calling each other and the hospital trying to see if we were ok. whoops. My Dad finally thought to call Andy's phone and we told him what had happened. It was a mess. Finally everything calmed down, I sent Andy with the baby and I was set to rest for a couple hours till they released me to my room. I remember cracking jokes to the nurse that was watching me, I'm sure she thought I was seriously out of my mind. Oh the joy of drugs. At four, I was taken up to my room and was able to see and actually hold my baby. It was a crazy crazy turn of events all day but I am so happy to snuggle this guy every day. But I really don't wish anyone to have the aftermath of a C-Section. It is miserable. I still refer to it as being cut in half, in reality it isn't that dramatic but really, it feels like it. My doctor said something about my tailbone being curved in the delivery room and said this is why he was stuck. It was very hard for me to concentrate on conversations, so the next day I asked him again what the deal was. He told me that my pelvis is shaped like a heart, most people's are a circle/oval. After he delivered the baby he had to pull the uterus back up around the curved part. And with Draven being turned, he was making it an even tighter squeeze. Since we make large babies, especially my first being big, he said I have a very slim chance that a baby will ever fit through there. Yikes, I don't even want to think what would have happened before modern medicine.

Well there it is, my VERY long story of how it all went down. I will be crazy impressed if someone actually makes it through the whole story but I really just wanted to have it written down somewhere, not that I actually think I can forget it but I'm sure in time those still very vivid details will fade :)